Waiting for Solana to come back (or Jesus to come back, for that matter), is the same way. I myself have a lot of nostalgia to college in 2009, when I tried to share with all my friends the news that Solana was the Antichrist and that Jesus is coming soon. I long for the days when it was all so sure, and Jesus was just around the corner.
As many of you did, I followed the "ENP theory" until the end, until mid-2010, the halfway point of the EU's brand new 7-year treaty. When Solana retired and did not return for the midpoint, it was very discouraging for us all. I abandoned the idea that he was the Antichrist for a few years, though many of you brave souls, who had watched much longer than I had, hung in there. I knew, as we all did, that something was "up" with the EU, but wasn't sure what.
Then came March 2015, when Solana said he would devote the rest of his energy to EU defense integration. Maybe, after all, God's word was true. And every man a liar, especially me. Maybe he is the Antichrist after all.
We've been mistaken before. This is a very discouraging and troubling journey. So as we move towards the creation of the EU's new defense fund, and Solana's potential comeback, I wrote a poem that is on my heart. I share it because I feel all of us, in some way or another, feel the same.
A Man in Labor
A poem by David Wilkinson
Heaving heavy pain with my longing tears
Giving birth the fruit of my fateful fears
Here I am a man in painful labor
Imploring God for some lasting favor
Weeping water from deep caverns of heart
Anxiously waiting for it all to start
Straining to vomit an aching longing
I nauseously await the appalling
Here I find what it means to have my name
A long trajectory reaching my aim
Becoming what I have always desired
Morphing into that which I was wired
At last I console the man of my past
Years of yearning did not go by too fast
Today we reconcile with days gone by
We fear that it again will go awry
Roaring tear-filled yearning as one in love
This Song forever plays high up above
Visceral, cold railroad spike in the soul
There is nothing here that can make me full
Waiting here for heavenly stars to fall
Pining for one who doesn’t come at all
Though a different key yet the same tune
This romantic song plays beyond the moon
Within my heart wells up wildest of hope
With the most daunting dreams I will elope
Into the starry future I will roam
The calling voice of the Forever Home
Get up you older man and walk outside!
Prepare you young man to gaze horrified!
Prepare you young man to gaze horrified!
Anxiously nauseous, ready to vomit
Your spirit will find no easy respite
I stand appalled at this desolation
Shocked at this walking abomination
Yucky, gross, and truly genocidal
Behold, outside a disgusting idol
Everyone mocks me as I lay in tears
Is this what you said would allay our fears?
Altar covered with the blood of a pig
This ghastly man our graves will surely dig!
Alas the last mile is in front of me
Sprinting towards everlasting glory
Glaring, blazing floodlights cover the track
There is no return, I cannot go back
Just beyond here lies the fork in the road
This or that way, I cannot bear the load
On the left I bear a most heavy shame
On the right I surely take all the blame
Why did you do this thing so very lame?
Warning us of terror that never came?
Without God’s comfort I am left bereft
A pierced and moaning heart lies on the left
Visceral joys and sharpest of deep pains
I will see him ride clouds in mighty flames
Yet this wicked man will put me to flight
I will not survive what lies on the right
On the quiet plain pleading in deep night
Whispering at starry sky that brings light
Crying and weeping to God who might save
Hear me, oh Lord, your ever wailing slave
My heart melts with disappointment and grief
I have not found any heartfelt relief
Smashed dreams and a crushed spirit all alone
Tonight I get up and trod my way home
The moon is blood, the stars fall in the night!
Here he comes to stand up for what is right!
For when my soul gave way to utmost dread
That’s when he did the very thing he said
Blessings and peace to you all, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and God the Father. Come Lord Jesus!